"I made it through today.”

Crispin’s Diary

People see me as young, creative, and lucky. I wear my chef’s jacket, move fast in the kitchen, and let everyone believe I’m strong. But the truth is, depression has been sitting quietly with me for a long time, even on days when the food comes out perfect.

It took me two years to say this out loud. I kept thinking I should be better by now, that feeling this way meant I was failing at life somehow. Staying silent felt easier than explaining something I didn’t fully understand myself.

I’m still not okay. But today, I showed up, I cooked, and I stayed. I want to say this honestly: surviving today counts.

Hope doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s just choosing not to give up, even when everything feels heavy. Tonight, I want to believe that saying these words means I’m not completely alone—and for now, that’s enough.